Monday, August 21
on God
i ask you to think of your dream girl or guy for a moment
just think
i don't mean your dream girl as in what the media has shown you
but what you inherently have thought
what do you mean you may ask
i'm simply asking you to look inside
and think of the time when you dreamed of someone you automatically knew
and that person
was the most beautiful person you had met in your life
that was the time when you saw the face of beauty
and somehow forgot what it looked like because it was so beautiful
and you spend your lives searching for this lost perfection
you just want to see that face again.
your concern was for the form
but think again
was it really the face?
you only have a faceless and in fact quite bodiless being
that you are chasing
was it really the face
or what you felt when you peered into the face
and felt that person's soul
you felt the essence, and it felt good
the unknown person...
you only realise at that point
that maybe it's not the form but the essence which is what is important
and you search for that essence in many things
you look at things of the world because that is, to you, your objective standard
and it makes you feel more wretched and you ask why
you blame God
you blame the things around you for not being good enough
are they to blame?
or have you just not searched the right places?
your heart?
God works in a strange way that is not the way of the world
He comes to you when you need Him
when you need a shoulder to cry on.
remember the last time you quarreled with someone you really loved?
your parents for example
or even your best friend
and you said those hurtful words
just to make them feel bad
thinking that it would make yourself feel better
God loved you when you were quarreling
He loved you when you said those words
He loved you when you ran away
and He loved you all the more when you got tired of running
and sat down to cry
He was always with you,
seemingly silent because that was your time and He loved you enough to value it
and it's only when you are ready to hear His soft sure voice
that He came to you
and asked you...
how are you feeling now?
not in a manner of derision and contempt
but because of His great love for you
and He just wanted to reach out to you only if you would let Him
and you hear His voice
and suddenly you feel wrong because you know deep down inside
that you have done wrong
you have wronged
because although you loved them so much
you chose to ignore your true feelings of love
and masquerade them in hatred
sometimes we choose not to hear God
we hear merely the words
how are you feeling now?
and we ask Him to go away
let me perish. let me fall. i just want to fall away so that somebody might care
and somebody does care
and He still speaks to you in that same soft sure voice
but because of your slowly hardening heart
you don't listen to Him
He only intends for you to be happy
to feel joy
He wants you know that He is there for you every step of the way
and even when you are running away He is running with you
silent maybe
because He knows that you don't want to be spoken to yet
He knows because He cares enough to want to feel what you are feeling
and He feels your sorrow
He feels your pain
and He just wants to make it better
if only you would let Him
this is God
He speaks to me when i'm ready
He speaks to me like a friend
friends tell people how they feel
it's like sharing your innermost secret
because you trust the person you are sharing it to
sometimes people betray us
sometimes it's unintentional.
many times they only realise that they feel even worse after they had acted
they realise their folly
and your heart is hardened sometimes that you don't forgive these people
man is often fallible
we sometimes fail the people we love the most
but it doesn't mean we do not love them
and God sees this love
and it's this human capacity to love
that even though we sin
He is still willing to send His only son to come to earth and die for us
so that we might in seeing His perfect love
be redeemed
in understanding just His sincere heart
to love us, to nurture us, to care for us, but letting us still be ourselves
He wants us to come to Him
so that He might be able to hold us in His arms
but He doesn't sometimes
because we don't want to let Him hold us
we feel the fear of being rejected, being betrayed
when we let people come close
and we think that God will only be this way too
because we know that God is everywhere
we know that God can do anything
and we know that if He somehow disappoints us as the people around us have
we would feel even more wretched than the betrayal we feel when people do
so we close our hearts to Him
and He is there silently waiting
waiting not like people, for His chance to speak
but for the time that you are ready to hear what He has got to say
He's my best friend
because He listens to me all the time
He's the best friend of many many people
people who have placed their trust in Him
sometimes in times of need because there is really nobody else that we can turn to
sometimes in joy when we realize the essence and beauty of love
and as a best friend
He tells me what i need to hear, when i want to hear it
not what i think i want to hear from others
neither unjustified praise nor or slanderous words
but His words of comfort
you see, you only truly want to hear things
from the people that you trust
so even when you say God i want to hear from you
without meaning in your heart
that God i trust you, and because i trust you, i'm willing to listen
you do not hear Him
because you have shut your heart from Him
and He cannot come
because there is no time when your ravaging heart is silent
but still He loves you
some wise man said a very long time ago
that the best things in life are free
we sometimes believe that
when we think of love, joy, faith, peace, patience and gentleness
but because our understanding of the world and how it works
we think of the things is life in terms of the physical, and in many times money
and we question
are the best things in life truly free?
only God is the giver of all great gifts
and God's love for us
makes Him want to give us all things good
when in our hearts, we are truly ready to receive it
and He waits for us to take our time
He's a gentleman
He never screams
He speaks by example
this is God,
but this is not all of what God is
He's many other things
many many many things that words cannot contain
but most importantly
He is God who cares
and He is not just my God
He's your God too
and He's waiting there to speak to you...
will you let Him just say three words?
after all, the first thing He wants to say
is 'I love you'
------
God appeared to me today
not in a dream
because God doesn't only appear in dreams
God is everywhere
and He appears everywhere that He is
and He appeared to me today
and i felt joy
i felt like a child
i felt His beauty
and i felt His love for His people
God sometimes appear in the dreams of people
and in many many times that He appears, He appears in dreams
and we question why does He choose such a mystical form to appear?
can't He just appear before us?
God doesn't want to fear us with His prescence
He takes some time to be seen
and it takes merely a small desire to want to see Him
the desire tells God
God i want to see you
and so He appears
so that we might not be frightened by His sudden and rude appearance
He is God who is propriety
and He is never rude
He awakens us gently
He is a powerful lion with the meekness of a lamb and the love of a friend
and how can you help but feel happy
when you meet an old friend?
God is your oldest friend of all
because He was there when you were created
He loved you when you were still in your mother's womb
He loved you because He moulded you
and He saw everything that you could one day be
the day when you choose to see His love for you
and not just see His love
but feel His love
and share His love
and spread His love
He is like water
the water that surrounds you when you are in your mother's womb
He is the water of life
because He is what sustains you and holds you as He envelops your being
He keeps you together every moment
He prevents you from falling into pieces every moment
even when you say that you want to fall into pieces
because He knows that your heart doesn't really mean it
you simply want someone to care enough to hold you together
and you don't see that He's already there
and when the thought of falling into pieces has past
and you realise your folly in thinking that way
He is glad
because this is when you are more joyful than before
He lets you take little steps
and tries to guide you along the way
we are sometimes fearful of the unknown, and also of Him
so we falter
we choose not to listen
He waits for us to take our time
He lets us take our little steps
or many steps
He's joyful when we come closer to Him
He is our proud parent......
and what i'm most proud of in this life
is that i am His child
and that everyone else are also His children
when we see little children
we are filled with joy of what they can be
when one brave little child comes up to us
we feel so glad and blessed
what more God who has allowed us to peer through His eyes
when we look at little children
because He sees us as little children
He sees us as His children
the next time you see children and feel joy
think of God who feels this same way about you
to a degree where words cannot express
and hopefully you'll feel blessed
in your assurance of His great love
------
people often philosophise about dreams and reality
they do not understand
they do not understand the purpose of us having to sleep
whether we are asleep or awake
we both think and feel
when we are awake
we choose to focus on what we think over what we feel
so we think while being aware of our feelings
when we are asleep
we let our feelings take over
and feel while being aware of what we think
our consciousness
our sense of self
sometimes people say that in dreams they have no sense of self
it is there
it's just much smaller
because we chose to place it in a different perspective
and when things are further away
they tend to appear much smaller than they really are
there's really a need to sleep when we look at sleep in this way
sleep helps us slowly sort through our feelings
and in so sort through our thoughts
you see everything has its essence
and in dreams their essence is just so much clearer
because essence in itself needs to be felt
and in thinking over what we feel
and feeling over what we think
our thoughts and feelings become complete
God helps us do this especially when we sleep
because we see Him most clearly when we do not see Him at all
not in the false forms of shape and arrangement which have its purpose in perception
but in His true essence
He appears to us in dreams
and when we wake up we feel rested
because of His goodness that envelops us.
---
when we dream
we wake up not realising what we have dreamt
but it is in there
just not in the way we want to see it
it's in us by our faith
it is in us by being what we believe and who we believe in
---
0. oOo
