Wednesday, September 20
when i go up to heaven, i don't want to have to hear: "don't you see? this is what you could have been......"
God gave us the freedom of choice
the choice had always been ours to make
the consequences of the decision, He promised to bear
if only we stepped out in faith
but ultimately man
is still a body that is a result of the decisions one makes
the past and the present decisions
of who-am-i and who-i-therefore-choose-to-be
sometimes we choose not to choose
we say
this is too hard. i don't want to bear the consequences
i don't want to take the blame
i don't want to fail
freedom
freedom
too much freedom
how do i know what to choose?
must i make my own
can i choose not to choose
can i just leave everything to fate
can i just say, for everything that goes wrong
that it's not my fault
i had no choice
it was the only thing i could have done
it was the thing any reasonable person would have done
can i blame society
can i blame social norms
can i blame everything but myself
i don't want to be the best that i can be
because i'm afraid that once i go that step higher
it becomes a point of no return
because i'm afraid that the higher i climb
the harder i'll fall
because i'm afraid of expectations
but Lord
i don't want to know what i could have been
if only i had made the choice to follow your path
Lord, i don't want to see the extent to which i have fallen short of your perfect glory
and your perfect plan
i'm a little fearful
but in You i will trust
this is what i can be. and this is what i will be.
by Your spirit in me.
0. oOo
