Wednesday, October 11
hello God, i'm coming home to stay. i might have forgotten how to get there, so can you please come fetch me home?
temptation is achingly beautiful
it takes me to places
it lifts me up
and lights my day
then everything goes dark
i am lost
floundering in this darkness
i moan uttering words that would be better left unspoken,
because i know i have sinned
and the guilt overtakes my heart
He never condemns
but the sin in me whispers lies into my ear
it shames me with words i do not want to hear
it proclaims the righteousness of God
it twists righteousness into anger
into wrath
into rage and jealousy
it speaks of fiery pits
and cold, damp dungeons.
chilling coldness that cuts deep lesions into the flesh
into the bones
he tells me to run away
to hide in shame
he throws me in despair
the world is beautiful
almost-bare branches
a single bud, a single flower
lies the hope for a future.
the world is beautiful, only if i open my eyes
and allow beauty to flow in my heart
there is a place in heaven for me
there is also a place i have on earth
anywhere i go, into the presence of God,
that is home.
both in heaven, and here in the world.
it ought to be second nature
finding my way home
but when i am in an unknown place
not knowing how and when i got to be this way
i'm running around in circles
so i stop
to take a breath
i breathe
and i wait
for you to come
for you to save me
for you to take me home.
0. oOo
