Thursday, November 9
a shadow of hope, a glimmer of despair
or why i haven't been reflecting on the temporality of my life.
any light casts shadows upon that which it lands.
if hope is meant to illuminate
its shadow must be that of doubt
in the darkness, light penetrates thoroughly
if i plunge into despair
it must be because i can see the light from above
whence i fell
the light of despair must be glory.
i am human
is being human being beyond good and evil?
amorality might then be a greater evil than immorality
for at least in immorality one knows that he is in the wrong
but for an amoral person
what value is it does he hold on to?
then there is the question
what values can we live by?
is the transcendental idealism of Kant the bad infinity of Hegel?
if i posit theoratical points of infinity am i limiting its infinitude with the boundaries of my own mind?
if there is no such thing as objective truth
am i condemned then to live as one who is not under the law of morality?
it is not by works that i am set free
but by faith,
the law of faith is the state of being in the truth.
to be in truth is to believe.
you can convince otherwise, a man who is right
you can refute a man who is wrong
but you cannot argue against a man who believes himself to be right
he will not be convinced.
there is one perfect crime, and that is suicide
for in suicide both the perpetrator and the victim are locked in absurdity
of the interchangeability of their roles
in suicide there is no meaningful truth
and nobody to apprehend
the person who commits suicide commits the perfect crime
for his reasons shall forever remain an enigma.
but to be-towards-death is not equivalent to suicide
it's to live life with a limit to the time we can spend in the world in mind
some people say that man is mortal
the life of the immortal has no meaning
the immortal becomes finite.
does he?
it's difficult to conceive of eternity as eternity is
for it is infinite
not the kind of infinite that we explain to little children
a very very long time
but a kind of infinite that is beyond what can be named
the end of the world?
the end of the world comes when the one we love dies.
and he has died.
and the memories of my sin are crucified, together with his death.
0. oOo
